<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>When the Peach Blossoms Bloom by itsjustnoise</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23981362">When the Peach Blossoms Bloom</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsjustnoise/pseuds/itsjustnoise'>itsjustnoise</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>(여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:54:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,685</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23981362</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsjustnoise/pseuds/itsjustnoise</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>An imagining of Shuhua and Soojin's story in two parts.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Seo Soojin/Yeh Shuhua</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>426</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I'll Be Louder than Thunder</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Why are there so little (G)-IDLE fic out there OHMYGOD<br/>But it feels great to be writing again :') Please be kind<br/>And stay safe everybody!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Not many people know this but Yeh Shuhua is terrified of thunder.</p><p>When she was born, Shuhua's grandfather had planted a peach tree in their garden. 'So that when my granddaughter is grown, she will be as beautiful as the flowers on this tree.' He had loudly proclaimed to the family in a trembling voice, withered hands reaching up to shakily stroke Shuhua's face. He passed away soon after but it was something Shuhua had always heard as she was growing up. And it was something that she held on to when she was 7, 8, 9 years old, when she began to realise that maybe she would never be as pretty as the other girls in school. But the tree grew alongside her, and flowered and attracted insects and bore fruit. And every time the flowers dropped, Shuhua would run around the wet grass, picking up the pink, purple, white blossoms which were the prettiest. She would be scolded later on by her mother and aunts for making a mess and trailing mud around the house but she didn't care. Not when beauty was clutched in her palm.</p><p>Then when she was 10, she had been awoken from her sleep by the loudest thunderclap she had ever heard, Shuhua was sure that her world was crumbling apart. And the lightning that followed had struck the tree right outside her window, its blinding light casting the shadows of everything that should stay in the dark. Shuhua didn't fall back asleep that night, not with the storm still wrecking apart the sky showing no signs of ceasing. Not with her peach tree gone for good. That was how her mother had found her the next morning, curled up under her blanket, clutching her bear in a white-knuckled grip, face pale and tear streaked. 'It's just thunder,' her mother had said. 'It cannot hurt you now.' she continues, pulling apart the curtains to reveal the blackened remains of the tree. It had been full of peach blossoms just the night before the storm, Shuhua had her favourite one drying in her journal. And now the tree had died, she would never be able to pluck the flowers ever again. The storm had long since stopped but Shuhua still hears the booms ringing in her ears. Loud sounds made her weak. So when she was 10, she decided that she would just have to be louder.</p><p>When she was 16, she decided that maybe thunder wasn't the scariest thing  she would have to face in her life.</p><p>Getting casted by Cube and accepting their offer despite oppostion from both her parents. Moving to Korea alone without knowing the language. Leaving everything she had ever known behind for a slim chance of acheiving her dream. Losing the stability and familiarity of Taiwan. Those things frightened her so much when she faced them, but she was Yeh Shuhua and she had decided to be louder than thunder all those years ago. So she packed her bags as her mother frowned at her from the doorway of her room, childhood journal with the dried peach blossoms tucked safely in between her clothes. Her father was still at work and Shuhua's flight was leaving in 4 hours. Which was just as well, she didn't think she could handle two gazes of disappointment at once. "Pack your purple jacket, Korea can be freezing in the winter." Her mother had huffed in exasperation as she pulled the jacket from the cupboard and Shuhua had mumbled her thanks to her shoes. When her mother finally left the room, they both pretended they hadn't seen the tears pooling at the corner of her eyes. She had said goodbye to her mother as she stood at the bottom of the stairs, clutching at the familiar wooden banisters as if they were a lifeline. "Do your best." Her mother had said and Shuhua left before either of them could start crying. "I am louder than thunder." She had whispered to herself as she sat curled up alone in the corner seat of her plane to Korea. And pretended that there were no tears falling down her cheeks.</p><p>CUBE Entertainment glows ominously on a plague on the side of smooth marble and she has to remind herself that this is everything she has worked towards back home.</p><p>She was lucky to have met Yuqi on her first day. When she entered the building with her bags, the lady at the front desk had taken one look at her, pointed at a space already filled with luggages, given her a piece of paper and said nothing else. She had stammered a shaky 'Where is' in english to the first girl she saw in the building, mind grinding to a halt when she realised she didn't know what to say next. But the girl had blinked big doe-like eyes before breaking into a smile brighter than the afternoon sun outside. "Are you heading to the dance room?" She had asked in perfect Mandarin and Shuhua felt the pressure around her lungs lessen. "No." She gulped, as she held out her paper, korean letters making absolutely zero sense to her. "I'm not sure." The girl squinted at the paper and pointed in the opposite direction before shaking her head. "I'll just bring you there since I'm quite sure you're new. I haven't seen you around before." Shuhua just nods, not quite believe her luck on her first ever day in Cube. As they continue down the corridor, the girl turns to her and sticks out a hand which Shuhua shyly takes. "I'm Yuqi and I'm from Beijing. What about you?" "Shuhua," she whispers to their joint fingers. "I'm from Taipei." Yuqi hums as they turn into the stairwell. "Have you been to the dorms?" Shuhua shakes her head quickly. "They'll probably want one of us to do it." Yuqi clicks her tongue as they decend a flight of stairs. "Meet me at the lobby after your vocal lesson. It'll probably end in 2 hours. And I'll bring you there."</p><p>Shuhua doesn't know how to react when she enters the room and finds another girl there.</p><p>Yuqi, bless her soul really, had stayed for a little while to speak to the girl. Shuhua could only hope that she was explaining her sudden presence to her. She was suddenly glad that she couldn't speak Korean, she seemed to have forgotten how to even speak her first language since this had to be the most beautiful girl she would probably ever see in her life. So she sits in the other chair and stares, and keeps staring even when Yuqi leaves after waving goodbye. The girl ignores her for awhile but eventually turns to her and raises one perfect eyebrow. "Why?" She asks and the words sounds so foreign that Shuhua knows she had to be speaking in Korean. So she blinks, hoping that Yuqi had told her that she couldn't speak the language and waits. Apparently, she did because the trainee furrows her eyebrows a little bit before asking again, in english. "Why?" But Shuhua just shakes her head and goes back to staring at the paper in her hand. She supposes that staring so hard at someone on your first day is not exactly the best thing to do so she sits quietly, praying hard that the trainer would come soon.</p><p>When the vocal lesson ends, Shuhua's throat is sore and the trainer has a slight frown on his face. The beautiful trainee had given her the plastic water bottle on her table when her voice had started to crack. She lets them both leave before rubbing at her eyes in frustration. She had barely understood a single thing the trainer had said, and the other girl (she thinks her name began with Soo?), her voice was just as pretty as she was, Shuhua couldn't really concentrate on the notes. "Louder than thunder," she reminds herself as she starts to gather her things, movements slow as she suddenly feels the fatigue of the day set in. But then the door alarm rings and it swings open, revealing the girl at the door. Shuhua stares a little bit too long again, but this time at the mole underneath her left eye. The girl smiles bashfully and says "Yuqi," but her intonation's all wrong. Shuhua smiles anyway, because hearing something so familair in a country so foreign to her reminded her of why she had chosen to go for the audition. She nods and grabs the bottle and her paper and follows the trainee outside into the hallway.</p><p>She leads her to the lobby, where Shuhua sees Yuqi and another trainee, tall and dark-skinned, with straight black hair covering her right eye. Her trainee walks her up to the pair and waves goodbye to the group before slipping out of the glass doors. "Who is that?" is the first thing Shuhua whispers as soon as she disappears and Yuqi turns to her, wide eyes comically big. "That's Soojin, she's older than... Actually how old are you?" "16." Shuhua replies, attention going to the taller girl who had giggled, left eye curving up into a cresent. "So she's the youngest now? Say goodbye to your maknae status, Yuqi." Yuqi huffs as she grabs Shuhua's luggage from the pile. "And this is Minnie, she's Thai but she understands a little." Minnie nods vigourously as they cross the street. "Very little." She echoes and once again, the intonation is slightly off but it lifts the corner of Shuhua's mouth. "We all stay together, us foreigners." Yuqi laughs as Minnie pulls Shuhua closer to her, narrowly avoiding a car that cruised by. "And we all look out for one another." She finishes as Minnie smiles down at her, sweeping her hair out of her eyes. Shuhua thinks of the morning sunshine and the freshly mowed grass of her garden in the spring. They are both beautiful too, she decides and holds on to Minnie's arm a little tighter.</p><p>"We're back!" is the first thing Yuqi yells when she pushes open the doors and Shuhua feels Minnie nudging her in from behind. "Welcome home." Another voice rings out from somewhere. Yuqi had parked the luggage and was bounding into the kitchen. "Her energy." Minnie shakes her head with a fond smile on her face, placing her shoes, and then Yuqi's, neatly on the rack. Shuhua follows her and shyly steps into her indefinite home. Yuqi comes back out of the kitchen, dragging another girl who looks at her with scrutinizing gaze. "She's new?" Shuhua swears she feels the atmosphere in the room change as this trainee squints at her, and unknowingly shifts to hide behind Minnie. "You're scaring her, Jeon Soyeon." Yuqi had admonished, smacking the girl on the arm as Minnie pats her head. "Oh, I'm sorry." Soyeon had grinned apologetically but Shuhua doesn't understand and turns desperate eyes to Yuqi for help. "Shuhua's from Taiwan, and I don't think she understands Korean very well." Soyeon's mouth opens as she walks closer and Shuhua shrinks more. "Sorry," Soyeon slowly says in Mandarin, "Don't be," she stops, pondering on her next word when Yuqi helpfully supplies "scared?" from behind her. "Scared." Soyeon repeats with crooked smile. Soyeon was like lightning, Shuhua decides when Yuqi was giving her a tour of the dorm. If you looked past its dangers, you would see that it was beautiful too.</p><p>She learns many things that night over dinner.</p><p>They sat togther on the floor of the living room, cross-legged and surrounding the boxes of jajjang and bosam Soyeon had secretly ordered to celebrate her arrival. The first thing she learnt was that the next lesson she had tomorrow was a joint dance class, so she would be with these three girls and that made her feel so much better. The second was that Apink might be somewhere in the building too and Shuhua feels butterflies in her stomach from knowing that her idols and inspirations were so close to her. The third and final thing is that these were probably the loudest girls she had ever hung out with but she could feel how geniune they were when they asked her about her life back home. They had been laughing about Yuqi's first day in Cube and how she met Soyeon when the door clicked and swung open again. Shuhua, who was sitting the nearest to it, locks eyes with Soojin and for a moment, she forgets how to breathe. But then Soyeon speaks and the moment is broken. "How was your date?" Soojin shrugs as she toes off her sandals, placing them next to Shuhua's black sneakers. "He bought me a new pair of earrings." She said before quietly entering a room down the hall. Shuhua watches the three of them exchange worried glances, before nudging Yuqi for an explanation. "Soojin, she's dating a male trainee. And it's not going so well lately." Shuhua tilts her head to the side and frowns. "It's against the rules, yes, but Soojin has always been a rebel."</p><p>The conversation turns lively again when Soojin emerges from the room to join them on the floor. Shuhua learns that she was probably the quietest out of all of them and that she loved meat when Soyeon wordlessly pushes her container of pork in Soojin's direction. "You guys have met," Yuqi begins, and Soojin nods, mouth full of meat to say anything else. Shuhua thinks she's adorable, like a chipmunk that doesn't quite know how much it should fit into its cheek pouches. "Awesome, so I don't have to do introductions again." The girls laugh and Shuhua has never felt more lost in her life. She is thankful Yuqi translates most of the conversation but she also knows that she can't rely on Yuqi forever. And it becomes the most apparent when Soyeon glances up at the clock and starts chasing them to bed. "You're sleeping with Soojin." Yuqi had told her and Shuhua felt the panic she had just squashed begin to rear its ugly head. But when she had, as silently as she could, settled into her bed, she heard a "Good night," in broken Mandarin being whispered from the top bunk in the dark. She learnt many things that night, but the most important thing was that if she didn't start learning Korean soon, she wouldn't be able to answer back.</p><p>So she practices and practices till the words start to sound less foreign on her tongue, till she stops having to turn to Yuqi, Minnie, Soyeon or Soojin for help when one of their trainers speaks too quickly. Soojin found her sprawled on the living room floor one night with worksheets scattered everywhere and a pen in her mouth. Shuhua hadn't even heard her exit their room. She had been repeating the words on the paper for over an hour now, and had spat the pen out in surprise when Soojin wordlessly joined her on the floor. "Yeo-Ro-Bun." She softly corrected, taking the pen to lightly circle the middle character. In the early morning, without any makeup on and with sleep still etched at the corner of her eyes, Shuhua thinks Soojin looks ethereal. But she swallows it down and repeats the word carefully, feeling peach blossoms bloom in her chest when Soojin smiles at her and pats her head. Soojin begins joining Shuhua on her nightly Korean lessons and Shuhua can feel herself improving with every intonation corrected and perfected. And then when Soojin had turned to her during one of their evaluations, she has no trouble understanding, "I think she will be funny." spoken in hushed and rapid korean muffled underneath a cool palm.</p><p>Miyeon was the newest trainee to join them and she was incredibly shy, quieter than Soojin ever was and blended into the wall way better than Shuhua ever did.</p><p>And Shuhua remembers that being her all those months ago. But this time, Minnie is the one who approaches her first. They had been eating dinner on the floor again when Minnie comes out of their room, dragging Miyeon by the arm. Miyeon reminds her of the songbirds that land on the branches of the peach tree, the annoying ones who would wake her up everyday in the summer. But she could never stay mad at them for long, not when their songs were that beautiful. She supposes that it would be easier for Minnie to get close to Miyeon, since they are the same age and burrows closer to Soojin who feeds her another bite of the tteokbokki they ordered. "Thanks Jinjin!" She sings when Soojin rolls her eyes, nudging her towards the meat so she could eat more. It has been almost eight months since she came to Korea and she wasn't as shy as she was back then. But a month ago, Soojin had broken up with the male trainee (Finally, she remembers thinking before freezing in the quiet of the bathroom in the morning.) and Shuhua had been extra clingy to distract her from the dark cloud that seemed to hang over Soojin's head when Pentagon's training schedule overlapped with theirs. Over time, it became a habit and since Soojin never showed any signs that she was uncomfortable with it, Shuhua didn't stop. Because everytime Soojin smiled at her, another peach blossom blooms and if she concentrated hard enough, Shuhua could smell the scent of home. A feeling begins to sprout in her chest and Shuhua has a faint idea of what it is but pushes it down and away for another bite of food.</p><p>Life as a trainee was scary at first but once she got used to it, it was draining more than anything.</p><p>Their debut was confirmed but the date was still up in the air. And with zero news from the company, Shuhua feels the fire in her chest dim a little everday as the snow continued to fall. The other girls don't talk much about it and Yuqi and Soyeon do their best to keep everyone's spirits up. But then one day they all were called into a meeting with very little else being said, Soyeon was already there when they all arrived. Shuhua hadn't been this nervous in a long time, not since she had stepped off the plane and taken her first steps on Korean soil. She finds Soojin's fingers under the table and feels some of the tension leave her body when Soojin's thumb runs across her knuckles soothingly. But Soojin was shaking too, barely there trembles that Shuhua manages to stop with a light squeeze. She meets Yuqi's eyes across the table and shifts her gaze to how her shoulders were just brushing Soyeon's. Then to Minnie and Miyeon who were on opposite sides of the table. A quick glance down and she saw Minnie's white shoes tapping away at Miyeon's sneakers, a nervous tic that she had never quite gotten rid of. They were all terrified, doubtful of their debut, but still holding on to the tiny spark of good news. "Girls," Shuhua holds her breath, as Soojin's fingers still. "Your debut is confirmed to be in May." And Shuhua will never forget the ruckus that they had exploded into after that. Through her tears, they had been louder than thunder.</p><p>It was decided that they would do unofficial promotions before their debut.</p><p>Soyeon had already made a name for herself, both on Produce 101 and Unpretty Rapstar but the other members were practically unknown. So, with all the enthusiasm of a rookie group, they threw themselves into practise, never settling for anything less than perfect. Exhaustion became more common and they hardly had any energy for their weekly living room gatherings as they crawled closer and closer to their debut date. And with the increased exposure, came the inevitable slew of comments from the netizens. Shuhua hates them with her entire being, and if she could reach through the screen to slap each and everyone of then across the face, she definitely would. Since she rarely sleeps, Shuhua hears the quiet sniffles in the dead of the night first, before the bed starts creaking and Soojin climbs down from her top bunk. She lays as still as possible when Soojin pauses to see if she has woken her up and sits up only when the bedroom door closes with a quiet click. Shuhua is very sure she knows why Soojin was crying, she had seen those comments about her face as well but had chosen to skip over them because they could never be louder than the thunder she had heard when she was 10.</p><p>So she creeps out of the room and strains her ears to try to find Soojin in their quiet dorm. The door to the toilet remains closed when Shuhua timidly knocks on it but the cries inside stop abruptly and everything is silent again. "Eonnie." She tries hesitently and the door clicks open. Soojin's tearful face greets her and Shuhua takes a second to decide to push her way into the small space. "Don't read the comments." She frowns as she wipes away the tear tracks and pulls the door shut. "You're gonna be a pufferfish tomorrow." A shaky laugh wobbles its way out of Soojin's throat as Shuhua dabs at the mole under her left eye. "Am I really ugly, Shuhua?" Even with tears running down her face, her nose a blotchy red and swollen eyes, Soojin was still the most beautiful girl Shuhua had ever seen. And the anger Shuhua feels bubbling up from the bottom of her chest is very much like the storm that tore apart the sky when she was younger, she wishes she could hit all the faceless haters with her lighting and burn them up. "You'll never be perfect to everyone." She says instead, biting her tongue because there was so much she wanted to tell Soojin but she didn't think she could. "But you should only care about what those who think you are perfect say." Soojin remains silent after that but Shuhua knows that she isn't convinced. So she points to the mole under her right eyes and then to Soojin's, a complete mirror image. "This is the prettiest thing about myself. So it should be the prettiest thing about you too. Do you believe me?"</p><p>Soojin laughs again because Shuhua had always been the best at making her smile. "I believe you." Shuhua grins and continues to wipe up Soojin's tears. They sparkled in the glaring white light of their bathroom, Shuhua thinks that they look like the dew drops that collected on the petals and the leaves of her peach tree. She tried catching them once, before she realised that they weren't meant to be caught. "There!" She brightly says when the tears finally stop. "Now you won't look like a pufferfish tomorrow morning." Soojin really laughs this time and Shuhua feels a whole branch of peach blossoms explode in her chest, smells its comforting sweet scent. No, she realises, this isn't the smell of peach blossoms, this is Soojin. In the time they spent together, Soojin had became her home without her realising. And that scared her more than thunder ever could. "Let's go to bed." Soojin was saying and Shuhua numbly nodded. And when they were both in bed, Soojin had whispered a 'thank you' and 'good night' in Mandarin that Shuhua had echoed back but she couldn't fall asleep.</p><p>For you see, not many people knew that Shuhua was terrified of thunder, but nobody knew that Shuhua liked girls.</p><p>Shuhua knew, when she had entered middle school and every girl was suddenly so pretty, she didn't know how to talk to any of them. And she was contented to keep it that way, because God forbid her biggest secret to come tumbling out into the dirt for the world to see. So she pushed it as deep into her heart as possible, desperate to prevent it from seeing the light of day. When she saw Soojin on her first day, she had thought thay it was just a passing crush and the weight of debut and the stress of training had allowed her to forget about it. It helped that Soojin had been dating that Pentagon boy too and they hadn't been close. But now, Soojin was her best friend and they were debuting in the same group and they took care of each other with a determination that stemmed from the blood, sweat and tears that they shed together. She suddenly feels all love she had tried so hard to ignore come welling up and lodging itself in her throat.</p><p>But Shuhua wasn't stupid. Soojin loved her, but it was different kind of love from hers. </p><p>She didn't love her like Soyeon loved Yuqi. Theirs was a love of teasing and playful banter, of insults and sarcarstic quips that would hurt a weaker soul, of a persisitent back and forth that could continue on for days. The more riled up Soyeon could get Yuqi the better, and if Soyeon ever got annoyed and ignored her, Yuqi knew she would always be forgiven. They knew each other well enough to know that this was how they loved. But as soon as mean words were exchanged about them, the teeth that the both of them would bare to protect the other could rip anyone apart.</p><p>She didn't love her like Minnie loved Miyeon. Shuhua knew Minnie had been the one who had patiently coaxed Miyeon out of her shy shell, who had sat together with her in every evaluation, meal and meeting, always a presence to give her the courage that she so desperately wanted. And Miyeon had been the first one who noticed Minnie's nervous tics and was the one to figure out a way to soothe them. Shuhua always sees them tapping away to each other, fingers and shoes drumming out a melody that probably beat in tandem with their hearts. This was how they loved, in a language that only they understood.</p><p>She didn't love her like how Shuhua love her. Shuhua was a girl who was louder than thunder, who loved with all the force of a levanter that did not know how to be stopped. She was someone who surrounded those she cared for with hurricanes and cyclones so that nobody could hurt them. She was someone who loved with peach blossoms blooming in her chest.</p><p>Soojin loved her with homecooked meals and cuddles and whispers of encouragement when she did something well. She loved her quietly and from the sidelines. She loved her like how you would love a younger sister.</p><p>Because Soojin wasn't louder than thunder, and many things still scared her. So Shuhua would have to be the louder one for the two of them.</p><p>And Shuhua realised that she had to be contented with that</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I'll Find my Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>(G)I-DLE worst kept secret was that Shuhua was in love with Soojin. Worst kept because everybody knew about it. Secret because the girl in question was the only one who didn't.</p><p>So it was inevitable that someone eventually pointed it out to her. But Soojin had never imagined that it would be Hoetaek. After debut, their schedules had rarely overlapped and the United Cube Concert finally allowed them a chance to mingle again. Soojin never once regretted dating him, but she never regretted breaking up either, even if it had hurt really badly back then. And when Hoetaek bumps hips with her at the refreshment table backstage, the smile she greets him with is genuine and bright. "Hey Jin," He laughs and passes her a bottle of water. "Good job out there." "Thanks," She returns shyly, "You did well too." Then there was a shout that has Soojin turning instinctively to catch a flying blur that crashed into her side. "JINJIN! YOU DID AMAZING!" Shuhua screams into her ears as Miyeon finally catches up to attempt to unstick the girl from their main dancer. Soojin notices something close to panic in the older girl's eyes which confuses her. She turns to meet black eyes over her head and is relieved when Hoetaek looks more amused than anything else. Miyeon and Shuhua are arguing about going back to their waiting room and Soojin sighs tiredly as she taps on Shuhua's hand. The girl immediately calms down, tame in her arms and eyes bright as they stare back adoringly at Soojin. "Go back with Miyeon eonnie first, Shu. I'll be back after I finish talking to oppa." And the light in those bright eyes dim so suddenly as they flick over to Hoetaek, who stood awkwardly behind her. Shuhua drops her arms and poorly conceals a flinch back as she bows politely at Hoetaek with Miyeon. Something turns uncomfortably in Soojin's stomach and she steps foward to pinch at Shuhua's cheeks. "I'll be back soon." But the girl can't quite meet her gaze and Soojin wonders if she had said something wrong. Miyeon looks at her with an unreadable expression before she took Shuhua's hand and was gently tugging her away.</p><p>"So that's Shuhua?" Hoetaek's voice snaps her out of staring at their retreating figures. "Oh," she blinks, swallowing her worry and smiling apologetically, remembering that they had never met. "Yes." They had decided to stay friends and Soojin would always been thankful for that. Wise and mature, Hoetaek had always been someone whom she could share her worries with and even now he still always looked out for her, like the older brother she never had. They rarely had any secrets hidden from each other these days. "What gave her away?" Hoetaek rubs at his arm, seemingly pondering his next words. "The way she looks at you seems very familiar to me." Soojin feels her shoulders tense up, but Hoetaek laughs again and continues. "It's nice to know you still have someone who looks at you like that, Jin-ah." Soojin bites her lips and cracks open the seal on the water bottle. "And," Hoetaek adds with an fond eyeroll as he looks back over his shoulder, unable to ignore the crashes coming from Pentagon's waiting room any longer. "The way you look at her seems very familiar to me too." He ends with a wave and leaves Soojin to ponder over his words.</p><p>Soojin returns to the waiting room to find Shuhua sandwiched in between Minnie and Miyeon. She doesn't quite know how to explain this feeling that suddenly coils in her gut.</p><p>But when Shuhua sees her, she shakes off the two oldest girls and bounds up to her, adoringly praising her as usual. Like the previous Shuhua hadn't existed at all. Soojin feels Minnie and Miyeons' gazes on her as she wraps Shuhua up in her arms. 'What?' She mouths over her head but they sigh together and go back to whispering to each other. "You did great!" Shuhua thrills and Soojin looks down to smile fondly at their youngest. "Thanks, Shushu. You really think so?" Shuhua nods excitedly as she gestures widely, trying to imitate her, causing some of the staff to laugh loudly at how ridiculous she was being, the loudest being Yuqi. "Hey, don't laugh!" Shuhua shouts and suddenly both of them are chasing each other around the huge room, playfully boxing at each other when they got too close. Soojin smiles again and narrowly avoids them to sit next to Soyeon on the couch. "It's nice to be young and have energy." Her closest friend deadpans from her side and she turns to smack her shoulder. "You're just a year older than your girlfriend. Don't be dramatic." "Well you're two years older then your girlfriend and here you are on the couch." Soyeon returns as she stretches her arms. "What? We're not dating." Soyeon only rolls her eyes and dryly answers. "Funny, with how the both of you behave, you guys might as well be." And when Soojin doesn't reply, Soyeon just gives a long suffering sigh and closes her eyes.</p><p>Soojin repeatedly replays this conversation in the car back to the dorm and still hears it even when she is freshly showered and stands in the kitchen drinking a cup of water.</p><p>She has always been affectionate with their youngest member. She was cute and adorable, and smiled like a little puppy. Cooking for her was something that Soojin genuinely enjoyed doing because Shuhua ate almost everything she made and wasn't scared to tell her about the dishes she could improve on. She rarely got annoyed at her, because Shuhua was surprisingly mature for her age and took care of her like an older sister. She was the confidence Soojin sometimes couldn't find in herself when faced with the unnamed netizens that wrote harsh comments online. The reassurance that Soojin needed after a particularly difficult dance, when she could still feel the judgmental stares of the audience like clinging spiderwebs and dust on her shoulders. Shuhua was everything Soojin needed after a day of being an idol and she never once took it for granted. She knew that Shuhua only started clingling to her because of the break up and it had been a welcomed distraction at the time. But it had been almost two years and whatever romantic feelings she ever had for Hoetaek had all but faded into a friendly sibling relationship. There was no reason for Shuhua to still take care of her like she did, but she still does anyway, with her smiles and encouraging words. Soojin decides to go thank her when she returns to their room.</p><p>But the pitch black that greets her when she pushes open the door has her pausing in her step, she doesn't think she has ever seen Shuhua sleep.</p><p>Most of the time, while the lights are all off, Shuhua's face is still illuminated by the light from the phone screen, playing whatever drama she had decided to binge watch till their alarm rang. But not today. And in the yellow light from the hallway, Soojin squints to see a Shuhua shaped silhouette sitting up in her bed, hears a faint rustling noise of her fingers moving over something. "Do you want me to turn on the lights?" She asks as soon as the sound stops. Shuhua hums, nods and with their room's light finally switched on, Soojin sees dried flowers on paper underneath her palm. She walks to the bed and Shuhua moves over, letting her settle into the pillow she had been leaning on. When Soojin first joined Shuhua on her bed to talk, she hadn't been comfortable with the way the wall had dug into her back. Shuhua had always given up her pillow for her to lean on ever since. "What's that?" Soojin asks as she points to the flowers, sighing in relief when she sinks into the pillow, she can smell Shuhua's menthol shampoo. "Peach flowers. We had a tree in the garden growing up." Soojin peers down at the pages and Shuhua moves her hand away to flip at the beige paper. She sees Chinese characters scrawled in pencil and many more dried peach flowers on the pages. "I used to collect them when they bloomed." Shuhua continued as she turned to a page marked with a puffy dog sticker. "They're all beautiful in their own way but this one is my favourite." And Soojin can see why, because even dried, this peach flower was the palest shade of lilac she had ever seen, with a fuchsia vein spiralling out from each petal. But on every alternate petal, there was a dot in dark purple. "I think the dots are the best thing about it."</p><p>Soojin doesn't stop thinking about this either and asks their make up staff to draw a dot at the bottom of her eye for their Seniorita promotions.</p><p>Shuhua's eyes light up when she sees her after make up and when Soojin asks her shyly if she likes it, she puts two thumbs up and exclaims, "Always." Later on when Soyeon points at her eyes and wonders what inspired her make up, Soojin just laughs and lifts up the flowers she had been holding. "Roses? But you aren't exactly their biggest fan." "Not these ones, but just flowers in general." Soyeon squints at Soojin, following her subtle gaze to where Yuqi and Shuhua were talking to the camera. There was a light blush on their youngest cheeks that she knew wasn't from their make up. So she put two and two togther soon enough. Yuqi had told her once, when she had been questioning her decisions and desperately needed a distraction, about how she adored the way Soyeon's mind worked. "In Chinese," she had said while running a hand through Soyeon's long black hair, "Yu means rain and Qi, means precious stone. Which makes sense I guess, since it was raining when I was born." Soyeon had reached up from where she was laying down on her lap to poke at full cheeks. "What about diamonds?" "Diamonds?" "Yeah, sparkling rain, precious stones. Diamonds." And Yuqi had laughed, startled, leaning down to steal a quick kiss as an afterthought. "Your mind never fails to amaze me, Jeon Soyeon."</p><p> </p><p>(What about Shuhua? </p><p>Her name? </p><p>Yeah.</p><p>Shu stands for pure and Hua means flower. And I think her parents chose beautifully.)</p><p> </p><p>The camera always feels like it's following her whenever Shuhua shouts her name and hugs her like she didn't know how to let go.</p><p>So she pushes Shuhua away from her when she gets too close, keeps a careful blank expression when Shuhua loudly professes her love and twists her lips into a disgusted frown when Shuhua says something particularly greasy. It bothers her, when she sees Shuhua's bright smile flicker for just a moment. "Does it bother you?" She murmurs one day when they are all bundled up in their car and on their way to a music show. Shuhua looks up from her screen, pausing the scene to give Soojin her full attention. Miyeon had complained to her before, about how nobody could disturb Shuhua while she was watching her shows, unless it was an official news from the company itself. If it wasn't, Shuhua would just ignore you till you gave up. Soojin was sure even a fire couldn't deter her from wanting to know if the male lead had finally gathered up his courage to talk to the girl of his dreams. She supposes that this was just a testament of how important she was to her. "What bothers me?" Her eyebrows furrow and Soojin cannot help but compare her to Haku and Mata when they are confused. Adorable. "When I push you away." Shuhua laughs and shakes her head, attention going back to the couple bickering on her phone screen. "Never, I know you're just shy." Soojin wonders if she would ever find someone who could understand her as well as Shuhua did without the need for words. She decides that she probably wouldn't be able to, because Shuhua was special. "You love me enough when there are no cameras anyway." There's a small crease that forms on Shuhua's forehead as she says this and Soojin tries hard to not think about what it means.</p><p>(She fails, to nobody's surprise.)</p><p>(Does she love me?)</p><p>Promotions for Uh-Oh had finally ended and their first day of break found Soojin and Shuhua lounging in the living room.</p><p>The silence that fell when they were together was never awkward. Shuhua once told her it was like a warm, fluffy blanket, the most comfortable thing in the world. They had been watching an episode of Knowing Brothers and Shuhua had been nestled into her side, fingers tapping away on the exposed skin of her knee. 'She probably picked it up from Minnie and Miyeon eonnie,' Soojin thinks and giggles when Shuhua's fingers start dancing, hopping from her knees to the couch, then to her arm. Adorable. But then suddenly they hear thunder in the distance and Shuhua's fingers freeze in the span of a heartbeat. A louder rumble causes Shuhua to press herself closer into Soojin, her elbow digging painfully into her ribs. But Soojin can't bring herself to care. "What's wrong?" Shuhua just shakes her head and stubbornly keeps her eyes glued on the bright screen. The next time they hear the thunder, it booms so loudly, Shuhua shrieks and curls up into a tiny ball, hands over her ears. And Soojin curses herself for not realising this sooner. She almost snaps the remote into two with how fast she grabbed it and switches off the television. Shuhua still hasn't moved from her spot, jumping every time thunder rumbles across the sky, whimpering when it sounds particularly close. "Do you want to go to our room?" She murmurs, a careful hand on Shuhua's back, she was trembling like she could feel the howling winds outside. Soojin feels Shuhua nod and helps her stand, shuffling together to her bed.</p><p>Shuhua disappears under her blanket as soon as they step into their room and Soojin debates for only a second before she's nudging at the Shuhua-sized lump under the quilt. "Move over." She says and sits down. Shuhua peeks one eye out from under the blanket after a while and Soojin feels her heart break when she sees how raw and red it is. "You should have said you were scared of thunder." is the first thing she says and Shuhua mumbles something under her breath. "What?" "I said I'm not." And Soojin just feels confused now. "Right." She drawls instead, torn between rolling her eyes or pulling this shivering child closer into her warmth. The silence this time pricks uncomfortably at her skin and when Shuhua breaks it, Soojin almost sighs in relief.  "I'm not scared, it just took me by surprise, that's all." She mumbles, voice muffled by the thick cotton. Soojin doesn't know what else to say, when it was clear that this was a demon Shuhua didn't want to face. And she understands, Soojin was no stranger to fears that she might never ever find the courage to confront. But Shuhua had always been so brave, Soojin realised that she had forgotten how young she was, how young she had been when she first started protecting her. They could still hear the thunder through the walls, but Soojin presses a kiss where she thinks Shuhua's forehead is and hopes that she knows what she means.</p><p>(It's okay, I'm here.)</p><p>(Her lips also don't land on Shuhua's forehead. Later, Yuqi will ask why Shuhua keeps poking at the corner of her mouth and cackle when she turns beet red.)</p><p>Then they were too busy with Queendom to have time for anything else and Soojin stores this memory deep into the recesses of her mind.</p><p>But she can never quite forget how Shuhua looked with tears glistening at the corner of her eyes. She sees it again, after their final performance of Lion, when Shuhua was the first to run off the stage and then when she quietly disappears as they were talking to their dancers. Worry twists uncomfortably in her gut and it must have clearly shown on her face because the dancer she was talking to smiles and tilts her head towards their waiting room. She sheepishly returns the smile and thanks her again before hurrying towards the open doors, anxiety mounting. </p><p>(She doesn't see how another dancer slides into the spot where she stood, eyebrows raised. "She really loves her huh?" "Yeah, but I don't think she knows that.") </p><p>Soojin can hear Shuhua's loud sobs as she nears, and reaches out an arm instantly when Shuhua turns to her, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Eonnie!" She cries when Soojin settles next to her. "You did well," Soojin repeats because she didn't know what else to say, lost as she looks at their manager behind the camera for help. "She says she made a mistake." was all he said and turns the camera away for a minute to film the other members trooping in. Soojin takes this chance to pull Shuhua closer and presses a quick kiss to the side of her head.</p><p>When the other members hear Shuhua's sobbing, they surround her and suddenly everybody was praising the girl in her arms. She hears, "You were excellent," and "Shuhua you made the song alive," and desperately hopes Shuhua does as well. Because words couldn't express how proud she had been, how they all had been, when they saw Shuhua open for Lion. She had grown so much from when they were trainees, and her heart had never felt more full when Shuhua had strutted forward with their dancers, confidence covering her like the cloak on her shoulders. She also hopes Shuhua knows this, that she believes in her as much as she believed in Soojin. And for a moment, she thinks that she does, when Shuhua stares at her for a little longer than a heartbeat. But then Soyeon is dragging them out of the room to shoot the ending and Soojin might never find out. Queendom ends and she hugs all the members of Six Puzzle with one arm, Shuhua had found the other when they had stepped back on stage and hadn't let go. But she realised that she didn't mind, when Shuhua's hand had travelled down, till it was wrapped around her own. She opens her eyes when Shuhua pokes at their clasped hands back in the safety of their car. "Was my roar louder than the thunder, Jin-ah?" But Soojin hears the question she really means and nods, lifting her hand to press another kiss to her fingers. "You'll probably scare those thunder clouds away." Shuhua giggles and lets their hands drop in between them before closing her eyes. Soojin feels the corner of her mouth lift up and moves to pull the blanket higher over Shuhua's lap. Someone snorts and Soojin looks up to catch Yuqi's gaze through the space in the seats. The Chinese girl winks before going back to poking at Soyeon who catches her fingers and nips at them.</p><p>The album jacket shooting for Oh My God took place in the early spring and Soojin would be lying if she said her hands didn't feel like they were being frozen right off her arm.</p><p>Shuhua finds her as soon as her solo shoot ends, barreling straight into her open arms and deeper into Soojin's huge padded coat. Soojin squeezes her tightly and realises something. "Why is your heart beating so fast?" "Because I'm cold." Shuhua shoots back and hugs her even tighter. They hear a quiet cough to their right and Soojin shifts a little to meet Soyeon's gaze. "What are you doing?" She raises an eyebrow but Soojin can hear the teasing tone and sees the sparkle in Soyeon's eyes. "I'll learn from you and do it too." She stands and opens up her arms, Yuqi immediately running to her with a happy yell. But then Soyeon closes her jacket and pushes her away. "It's for Miyeon eonnie, not you." She huffs and Yuqi and Miyeon start fighting for Soyeon's hug. But of course, Yuqi wins and Soyeon quickly pecks her cheek when the camera turns away. Miyeon rolls her eyes but there was no anger in the action and whines that nobody loves her in this family. Soojin feels Shuhua's body shake softly with silent laughter as they look on at the commotion. "Minnie eonnie's going to sulky again when she comes back." Shuhua sighs, gaze soft when she sees Yuqi bury her hand into Soyeon's pocket. "Eonnie?" She tries again when Soojin doesn't reply, pulling away to try to see Soojin's face. Soojin blinks and turns back to her, expression apologetic. She had realised something. "I'm sorry Shuhua, what-"</p><p>(She loves me, doesn't she.)</p><p>But Miyeon chooses that moment to run to them instead and Soojin is cut off when Shuhua screams and bolts away. "No, I don't want your kisses!" She shouts and Miyeon chases her amidst the raucous laughter of everyone present. Someone coughs again next to her and Soojin sees Yuqi and Soyeon both staring at her pointedly. "What?" She says, suddenly defensive. "Good lord, I thought you were bad but you're right. She's much worse." Yuqi groans and Soojin gasps, offended as Soyeon just nods sagely from beside her. "Well I'm always right." Soojin was just about to grab the both of them by their ears to shake the answer out of them when Shuhua comes running back, and she opens her arms automatically to allow the girl to hide in them. Yuqi's eyes practically bulge out of their sockets. "Is she serious right now." She groans again, much louder this time and Soojin finally snaps. "What?" She hisses but Shuhua springs in front of her and shouts," Why did you upset my Jinjin?" And Yuqi exhales with a fond eye roll. "Soojin eonnie's dense." She says and Soojin sees how Shuhua's bare shoulders tense up as a mischievous expression fall across Yuqi's face. It takes her a little longer than usual but Shuhua eventually flings herself onto Yuqi and the both of them are play fighting again. "Something about this situation is painfully familiar." Soyeon laughs from beside her and Soojin just wants to slap the smirk off her face.</p><p>Minnie is the next one who comes to her and stares cryptically at her face when she finds her in the kitchen.</p><p>"How did you get in?" Soojin sighs as she stirs the pork into the sauce, pasta noodles bubbling away in the pot beside her before remembering how Miyeon had been whining about missing her girlfriend. "Nevermind." Minnie keeps quiet for a while so Soojin waits and moves to check on her noodles. "Ab imo pectore, huh?" Minnie muses and Soojin nods. "What about it?" "Do you know what it means?" The clinking of wood on metal stops for a moment as Soojin tries to remember what Soyeon had told her during her recording session. "From the bottom of my heart, I think." She finally says, pausing to taste the sauce and biting her lip when she realises that it needed more salt. Minnie hums as she passes the blue bottle to her and Soojin blinks, she hadn't notice Minnie moving to stand beside her. "Isn't it funny how you said that to Shuhua." Soojin narrows her eyes as she glares at Minnie who was smiling mysteriously at her from the side. "It's part of the script." She says, voice flat as she flicks off the gas for the pasta pot, Shuhua hated eating overcooked noodles. When she turns to Minnie, the Thai girl was looking at her with such a familiar dubious expression, Soojin is painfully reminded of the time when Minnie's hair had been light brown and she hadn't had bangs brushing her eyes. Granted, she had made the expression for a different reason but the root cause had been clear. Seo Soojin was being an idiot. "You are an idiot." Minnie reaffirms as she helps Soojin strain the pasta, blowing away the steam that rose up from the sink.</p><p>Soojin knows this fact, but it seemed like the only thing everyone had been telling her lately, one way or another. And truthfully, she was slowly losing the patience that she was so famously known for. "Yes, everyone has been telling me that lately. If I admit that I'm an idiot, will you tell me why?" But Minnie just laughs and shakes her head. "It's not my place to say anything. You'll figure it out eventually anyway, I think you're already well on your way." Soojin almost hits her with the spoon in her hand. Almost. But she does scream in frustration when Minnie skips out of the kitchen to answer Miyeon's call for her in the living room. She passes Shuhua, who had came running as soon as Soojin's voice rose from her usual quiet tone. "What happened? Did you burn yourself?" She frowns as Soojin lets her fuse over her hands. "No, didn't burn myself. Or the pasta. Or the sauce." She manages to say through gritted teeth and clenched fists. Shuhua blinks and Soojin finally looks at her. Swaddled in her towel and fresh from her shower, Shuhua smells of menthol and wildflowers and Soojin's heart skips when she carefully puts her hands down to nervously scratch at her cheek. "I didn't know you were tired, I'm sorry. You didn't have to cook for me, Jin-ah."</p><p>And Shuhua looks so dejected that Soojin feels her anger evaporate immediately. "I'm not tired. Just annoyed at the members." Shuhua's mouth drops open before she held up her fists, fire dancing in her eyes. "Do you want me to hit them for you?" She shakes her hands and Soojin thinks that of all the sides of Shuhua she has had the pleasure of seeing, this one is her favourite, her most loyal protector. "No, don't hit them. Let's just eat?" Shuhua nods, and bounds over to the pots, happily scooping up her bowl to fill it with food. Haku and Mata come scampering after each other into the kitchen, no doubt because they smelled the pork in the sauce. "Haku! Mata! Are you guys hungry too?" Shuhua coos as she squats down, feeding their puppies from her hands, a dopey smile on her face. "Wash your hands after." Soojin reminds as she portions out their dinner, unable to stop a smile as Shuhua screams in joy when Mata licks her face. She looks up to see Miyeon and Minnie leaning on the door frame, identical Cheshire cat grins on their faces. "Do you guys want to eat too?" She begins, already getting more bowls when Miyeon shakes her head. "Oh no, we wouldn't want to interrupt anything." She laughs, tone teasing and Soojin squints at her two older sisters. "Yeah, we're going out with Soyeon and Yuqi. Maybe we'll get bingsu after." Minnie adds and Shuhua perks up from the floor. "Chocolate bingsu please!" Minnie shrugs and raises an eyebrow at Soojin who shakes her head. "Don't stay out to late." She says instead and rolls her eyes when she hears "Yes mom!" before their front door clicks close.</p><p>It shouldn't bother her so much, the members teased each other all the time. It was one of the reason why they were all so close. But Soojin couldn't help but feel she was missing a very important point here. So she thinks and thinks, even when Shuhua says that she'll get wrinkles from frowning so hard. If she thinks hard enough, the answer will come to her eventually, right?</p><p>White had always been Soojin's favourite colour on Shuhua, she had an embarrassingly large album of Shuhuas in various white outfits secretly stored away in her phone.</p><p>So she shouldn't have been surprised when her feelings finally clicked into place during this dance practice. When Shuhua looked like the angel she had always said she was. They've looked at each other countless of times in the years they've spent together, Shuhua's sparkling eyes always finding her gaze whenever she wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words. Soojin's more than familiar with Shuhua's eyes. So why did her breath catch when she meets them over Soyeon's head, her heart thumping loudly in her ears. Shuhua smiles at her when it happens, this bashful child-like smile that only Soojin has ever had the privilege of seeing and she feels the corner of her lips lift up. The moment was over in seconds and as the music guides her movements away, Soojin's feels like she's flying. She turns again and catches Shuhua's headband falling over her red face, the girl squeaking in surprise and embarrassment. And in that moment, as she hears herself scoff at Shuhua's mistake, she realises why her heart feels like it wanted to beat its way out of her chest.</p><p>(I Love Her.)</p><p>'Took you long enough, you idiot.' A voice that sounds suspiciously like Soyeon's rings in her ears and Soojin sneaks a glance at her leader and closest friend. She sees how her eyes shone with pride as Yuqi did her part but as soon as she stepped off to the wrong side again, nobody laughed louder than Jeon Soyeon. "Again?" Soyeon sighs, exasperated but Soojin wonders if the soft look in her eyes mirrors hers when she looks at Shuhua. Yuqi just laughs and sticks out her tongue and the dance ends soon enough. Shuhua is the first one to come find her after they've all changed out of their clothes and to nobody's surprise, praises her in a voice louder than thunder. Soojin purses her lips and pretends to be annoyed that Shuhua messed up her part by knocking off her headband and the younger girl plays along, knowing that Soojin could never truly get angry at her. But as she pouts and begs for forgiveness, Soojin suddenly grabs her clasped hands and pulls her from the room, Minnie's head shooting up in alarm when Shuhua yelps. "Minnie eonnie, help! Soojin eonnie's gonna-" And she's cut off as the door slams shut.</p><p> </p><p>(Miyeon flops down next to her and Minnie's hand finds her arm immediately.</p><p>Taptap. Tap. Taptaptap. Tap.</p><p>Miyeon doesn't look up but her arm shifts and her fingers start moving.</p><p>Tap.  Tap.  Tap.  Tap.</p><p>"Are you sure, Soojin looked really angry."</p><p>Miyeon shakes her head and yawns, Minnie lets her rest her head on her shoulders. </p><p>"I don't think that's anger." </p><p>"If you're sure..."</p><p>"I'm sure. Oh and tell Manager oppa that we might have to wait awhile before we can leave.")</p><p> </p><p>Meanwhile, as Soojin continues dragging Shuhua off to God knows where, Shuhua starts babbling to calm her nerves. She has never seen this look in Soojin's eyes before and truthfully, it scared her. "I don't think we should go too far, eonnie. Manager oppa said we were leaving in 15 minutes. Yuqi will be wondering where I went and I think Soyeon eonnie wanted to talk to us all after we were done changing and I wanted to see the pictures Yuqi took of me and why are we going to the toilet?"  Soojin nudges her in with sigh and turns to lock the door. 'This is it,' Shuhua thinks, 'I've suffered all these years as a trainee only to die in a random toilet. What a life.' But Soojin leans on the door and frowns. "You love me." And Shuhua hears all the alarms in her head start wailing, pressure beginning to build behind her eyeballs. "Yes," She carefully begins when she realised that she had been silent for far too long, unsure why this conversation was even happening. "I'm quite sure we all love each other, or (G)-IDLE wouldn't be able to happen." "Not that kind of love." The wailing changes now, into booming taiko drums that sounded like thunder. 'Oh, that's not taiko drums,' Shuhua distantly hears a voice say, 'that's my heart.'</p><p>"Shuhua?" And Soojin's voice shakes so horribly when she doesn't reply, Shuhua decides to be brave and bite the bullet. </p><p>Louder than thunder, Yeh Shuhua.</p><p>"I thought everybody knew that." She tries for nonchalance she cannot feel and swallows all the fear that was clawing its way up her throat. It was freezing cold, she almost feels like she cannot breathe. Her heart breaks when she sees a tear drip down Soojin's nose and follows another one till it splashes onto the black linoleum tiles. "I'm sorry," She says immediately, because why did Soojin have to find out now, everything had been fine. Nevermind Shuhua would be unable to give her heart to anyone else, Soojin still loved her and that was honestly more than enough. "Since when?" Shuhua feels her shoulders bunch up, curling up in a futile attempt to protect her heart. She doesn't feel very brave now. "A while." She gulps and keeps her eyes trained on Soojin's slippers, she didn't think she could ever meet her eyes again, not when she was the cause of her tears. "I'm sorry." Shuhua's looks up so quickly, she hears her neck pop and her hand flies to uncomfortably press at the sudden kink. Soojin's smile is watery as she steps closer, tears all but dried when she stops in front of Shuhua. And Shuhua presses her hands into her sides because all she wanted to do was to rub at the tear tracks till they vanished.</p><p>"Just now, I realised something. When I looked at you." Shuhua freezes when Soojin tilts her head up. Her eyes were red and raw, just like that night when she found her crying alone in the toilet. But the smile that was on her face, Shuhua thinks that the sun couldn't even come close to its brightness. "Since we were trainees, I've never said anything but you've taken care of me anyway. And you've protected me from so many things that I never had the strength to brush aside. Thank you." Shuhua opens her mouth but Soojin shakes her head and her mouth clicks close. "And maybe," it is her turn to take a deep breath for courage now, "maybe I've loved you from the start too." Shuhua's eyes are shining now and Soojin steps closer, till their noses were brushing. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come to terms with it." And Shuhua bursts into tears, loud wailing that has Soojin laughing so hard, she feels the happiness bubble up and sing out from her bones. "I love you, Jin ah!" Shuhua hiccups when her tears stop but Soojin has heard that enough times to know what she should have always done.</p><p>Shuhua has always dreamt of what Soojin's lips would feel like. And now, as she stands in this random toilet, she thinks that her dreams don't do it any justice. Soojin's lips feels like fluffy clouds and taste like peach blossoms, feels like home. They kiss till they remember that they had members waiting for them to go home. "Later." Soojin promises as she takes her hand and they return back to the room. The other four girls jump apart when they step through the doors and Minnie even dares to whistle as she stares up into the ceiling. "Yes, I was an idiot." is the first thing Soojin deadpans and her girls immediately gather around them, cooing at how tightly she was holding onto Shuhua's hand. "I think you broke her." Yuqi comments as she waves a hand in front of Shuhua's face, eliciting no other reaction from her friend but a dreamy sigh. Soyeon wriggles her eyebrows as she teases Soojin from her spot by the door. "Jesus Soojin, what did you do to her? Shuhua looks like she went to heaven." And Minnie needed no further prompting to start shouting, "Oh my GOD! SHE TOOK ME TO THE SKY!" The other girls join in and their manager comes back to find them jumping around, screaming their song at the top of their lungs. He sighs with a fond smile on his face and shakes his head.</p><p>Later in the car, when everyone is having their own conversations and they were on their way back to their dorms, Soojin will press a kiss into Shuhua's hair and wrinkle her nose to complain that she should wash her hair later. Shuhua will huff loudly and pretend to ignore her but then giggle when Soojin pokes at her side to get her attention. "I love you." Soojin will whisper into the air above head and Shuhua will collect the peach blossom that blooms and hold it as tightly as she can in her hands. Nothing much changes, except thunder doesn't scare her anymore. Because, here, wrapped up in Soojin’s arms, she was finally home.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>